Mid-Days with Donna Cruz

3 Words For A Better Relationship

By January 22, 2021 No Comments

If you want to soar in this new year, consider doing things a different way. This applies to finances, diet and even relationships.

A year after my marriage was over I gave dating a shot. The guy became a friend. We talked a lot on the phone once we decided that just friends was best.

He shared a blog with me from an atheist relationship coach (which I thought was odd as we are both Christians). It was titled: Three words to better relationships: Raise Your Standards.

Eight years later, those words have never left my heart. Although much of the writer’s worldview clashed with mine, there were some nuggets no one else had ever dared to share. Like “SO WHAT?!” And “I’M NOT INTERESTED”.  Why not? I decided. Why not for ONCE, flip the script. What IF I wasn’t so worried about being alone? After all, NOT being alone hasn’t worked out all the great.

So, after much prayer about this (because, to be honest, I also had to raise my faith – level too for this new way of thinking) I let go of what had held me back all these years and somehow believed the lie I told myself: that I…yes, I was worthy of the best. And it was a lie at first. I didn’t believe it. But every day or so I’d buy into it a little more.

I spent time outside, took the kids on adventures, went to the shooting range, experimented with recipes…all things I wouldn’t have spent time doing if I was so busy looking for “who’s next”.

I dug into God’s word. I vetted out people who wanted IN on my life. I said things like “no thank you” and it felt good. I was finally in charge of my emotions and God was settling my heart. It was truly just fine to be single. Really.

…and then I met the man who four years later became my husband.