Afternoons with Lauree

Dear Dad, I Miss You | Josh’s Personal Story

By June 18, 2020 No Comments

Producer Josh here! I just wanted to share with you how I’m feeling about my first Father’s Day as a dad.

Father’s Day has always been a celebration in our household and it’s going to be particularly special this year for me as I’m going to be on the receiving end for the first time! As I’m writing this, my wife Meagan and I are awaiting the birth of our first baby and were feeling the whole range of emotions: excited, of course, nervous, a bit anxious just wondering if we’re truly ready. We have the same feelings that I imagine any first-time parent goes through. If you have children, maybe you can remember back to that time before your first child was born and you can remember the butterfly feelings that just wouldn’t cease. As I’m taking an inventory of my emotions, I’m reminded of my childhood. I think back to the relationship that I had with my dad as a kid. One of the main things that stick out was he always seemed to have a saying for everything and I know exactly what he’d tell me at this moment: “Josh, it’s just like eating an elephant, buddy, take it one bite at a time.” It still rings so true and it brings a smile to my face. Though this is a fond memory, I just never thought I’d be celebrating my first Father’s Day as a dad… without my own dad.

Back in 2016, my dad was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. And though it was a well-fought battle, things progressed pretty quickly. Fast-forward to January 2017, my dad’s faith became sight and I just remember this overwhelming sense of peace and comfort that came from knowing where my dad’s eternal home is and knowing I will see him again someday. But as much comfort as I felt initially, this wasn’t supposed to be the plan. I wasn’t supposed to lose my dad at 23. I wasn’t supposed to experience the big moments of life and adulthood without him. To graduate college without him, to get married and not have him in the front row with my mom, and to have my first child and him not be there to hold his grandbaby. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt, of course it does. But I’m reminded of the fact that just because I no longer have my earthly father, it doesn’t mean I’m fatherless. I have a Heavenly Father who knows me. A perfect father who loves me and cares for me, as only our God can. He takes these moments of hurt and of trial and he turns them for our good. I’m reminded of the song “See a Victory” by Elevation Worship that plays here on KCBI. In the bridge, it says, “You take what the enemy meant for evil, and you turn it for our good.” This line has been my rallying cry during this season of life. When our circumstances seem weighted against us and when we feel like things are out of control, God takes what the enemy meant for evil and turns for our good and for His glory.

So in the days ahead, when I’m powering through sleepless nights with a newborn baby and I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing (which I imagine will be often), I think I’ll just take my dad’s advice and I’ll take this parenting thing “one bite at a time.” Thanks, dad. I miss you. I love you. Happy Father’s Day.

-Josh

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