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He was merciful today twice.

October 27, 2014

I messed up again. I repented again and then I committed what seems to be my “besetting sin” once again. I made it 24 hours and that’s it. He’s answered two prayers in the past day that have been burdening my heart. He was very merciful to me and then I went and blew it. I hate that part of me. I guess that’s my cross and I guess we don’t get to choose our crosses. I guess part of submitting to Him is letting Him choose my cross. It’s not easy, it’s painful. It’s just as painful when I fail as when I don’t fail, but when I fail it’s worse because I’ve let Him down again. And then He went right on and was merciful to me afterwards and answered a second prayer just now. Both of these prayers aren’t in any way related to my besetting sin. He crushes me with kindness. Once again He picks up the pieces of me and puts me back together in His image.