Mornings with Rebecca & Burns

How To End A Toxic Relationship

*This article was originally published by Therese J. Borchard at Psych Central*

A relationship doesn’t have to be romantic to fall into the “toxic” category, of course. Many friendships, mother-daughter, boss-employee, and waiter-eater relationships qualify. If someone is bringing you down consistently, chances are that your relationship with him is toxic.

How To Know If You’re In A Toxic Relationship:

  1. Do I feel energized or drained after I spent an hour with X?
  2. Do I WANT to spend time with X or do I feel like I have to?
  3. Do I feel sorry for X?
  4. Do I go to X looking for a response that I never get?
  5. Do I come away consistently disappointed by X’s comments and behavior?
  6. Am I giving way more to the relationship than X?
  7. Do I even like X?

How To Get Out:

  1. Keep a log of your emotions. This is a therapeutic tool for anyone suffering with bouts of depression and anxiety, and here’s why you do it: It helps you identify your triggers.
  2. Identify the perks. Every now and then we do something completely selfless, but ninety-nine times out of a hundred we do something (or stay in a relationship) because there is something in it for us. So make a list of the positives that this person brings to your life. Chances are, the negatives will outweigh the positives.
  3. Identify the need. Now that you’ve identified what you get out of the relationship, what is the need they fill? Affirmation? Validation? Security? Loneliness?
  4. Fill the hole. What is a healthy way you can fill the need? Many times a good counselor can help you through this.