My life has been a mess, a disaster. Full of abuse since day one. But somehow, from my earliest memories, I have always believed in God. As an adult I have had my faith crises, sure, where I doubted God or lost my faith. But as a child, even with the abuse, it never occurred to me that there might not be a God, I always felt Him and he was my only friend and my only constant and I spent my childhood knowing in my heart of hearts that Jesus loved me so much. As an adult, when I lose faith, faith always finds me. It is like my faith is separate from me, it is bigger than me, it is not in me but I am in my faith. I can’t, I am incapable of denying God with finality, no matter how bad I stray, I always come back. Christ is the center of my orbit so that I feel His pull even when I sin. So, from day one, God found me and claimed me for Himself, and I couldn’t leave Him because there is no other place to go and why would I ever want to anyways? Thank you Lord.