I recently got an email that had this statement:
“I don’t want to be angry with God anymore. How do I do that?”
This was actually a response to what I had posted recently and essentially, my post was about loving God and loving God’s Word. This is what she said in response:
“How do I become equipped to love the Bible? I want to but I don’t, I don’t want to be angry with God. I don’t know how to get there. I want to experience peace and joy in my life again.”
I don’t know about you but I’m fairly willing to bet that you or someone you know is in that place right now. What I love about her email is that it’s so beautifully honest. Who are we trying to kid here? God already knows what we’re going through and how we feel about it.
This was my response to her: God rejoices when we come to him with our broken pieces. Here’s a really good prayer to pray when we feel like this because we all go through this. God, I’m so angry with you, but I don’t want to be so please help me find peace. I don’t want to read the Bible, but I want to want to please help me want to read the Bible. I have no joy, God, but your word promises me that when I spend time with you, you give me joy. Show me how to do this. I want to love you more God and I know that I’m supposed to, but I’m broken. So help me to love you like I should.
I think that we refrain from praying that way because we think God will be angry, but here’s the deal when it comes to God. He knows our brokenness. He knows the depths of our heart. He sees the hurts we can’t remember that cause the behavior that we can’t explain. We’re not always going to feel God working in our lives but I can assure that He still is. So have that faith and trust that it’s true, even if you’re not feeling it today.