For many of us, whether we have kids at home still or we have kids that are out of the house, it’s never too late to learn this valuable lesson. The one thing that we should get right as parents is this: just show up.
Now, this is based on neuroscience because there are two big issues that come up for parents. One is the driver for hyper-parenting as we all know that mom or dad that has to show up for everything their kids do or provide every opportunity for their kids, or even be the parents that races to school when the kids forget their lunch or a science project because that is the one thing in life that drives them. On the other end of the spectrum is the checked-out parent who is too overwhelmed and distracted with their own lives to really give much thought for their children.
So overall, you want to aim for the middle ground between these two sides because that will ensure that you are still there for your child in a healthy capacity while also maintaining your sanity. This adjustment is more about being present and having the availability for your child. It’s more about being aware, receptive to moments to connect with your child with the ability to stay with them at the moment when they are feeling distressed, sad, and anxious.
When you can make the effort to really be in that moment and emphasize that problem going on in your kid’s life is the biggest thing in their life right now, even if it seems really small to us, then you are able to really connect with your child like never before. It’s your presence that does more to build healthy competent children more than anything else you could ever do.